Mumbai. A hassled employee at a leading Indian IT company was found panicking and running all over campus looking for his boss, whom he claims was last seen with a Diet Coke can in the company’s recreation area.
After HR intervened and quietened the employee down, he revealed the following, ‘I’d witnessed him sitting in the office and consuming multiple cans of Diet Coke in quick succession since the previous evening. He’d been asking me for a report which I was ready with, but couldn’t find him anywhere when I came to office today.’
An interview with other employees reveals that the boss was not used to consuming normal food and drink. Instead, he derived his nutrition from chewing his employees’ brains. The mere gastric effect of the Diet Coke remains unknown. The boss essentially disappeared from office and was last seen zooming past in the distant horizon by innocent bystanders. These people were familiar with the size and shape of the boss, having seen him regularly from a distance. His office overlooked a busy intersection in Navi Mumbai and many people were used to seeing him on their commute to work.
It is believed that he is still orbiting around the country with no verified claims about his last location.
However, a sensational India-wide search has been launched by the company’s HR Head to find their missing associate, who currently may be the victim of spatial bloating. Diet Coke representatives were unavailable for comment. The HR Head refused to respond, despite multiple calls and text messages being sent to him. The Border Security Force has been informed – to enable them to keep the boss within India’s geographical limits. They are reportedly preparing to use aerial fishing nets to capture him.
Faking News will be the first to report, if any more sightings of the boss take place.