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IT company ties up with mobile operators for activating websense on employees' smartphones during office hours

31, Mar 2016 By Beer & Biryani

Bengaluru: After failing in their every effort to increase the productivity of employees, reputed IT giant Nitpick Technologies has announced tie up with popular mobile network operators for restricting E/2G/3G/4G access for employees during office hours.

As part of this, a widely used computer security software called Websense is being used for blocking chats in WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Snapchat etc. to make the employees look back into the workstations to finish the pending work.

“Nitpick’s HR showing associates’ smartphones that were confiscated as they were chatting too much.”

Faking News reporters spoke to Nitpick’s corporate communications manager Mr. Chipkoo Lal in this regard. He said, “We have observed rising intolerance for on-time delivery of projects, with leads informing about 1-2 weeks of delay in a very casual manner. When we did the root cause analysis, it was found that employees were spending at-least 3 hours on their smart phones wasting precious time of the client.”

“At first, we thought confiscating employees’ phones would help timely delivery of projects and even placed a few banners in work areas that said ‘SMART PHONES BELONGING TO ASSOCIATES INVOLVED IN PROLONGED CHATTING WILL BE CONFISCATED BY SECURITY‘. This lead to office wide protests that lead to tearing of banners by frenzied associates”, said Mr. Chipkoo as he continued to explain.

“Then we thought of an idea which was like a soft ban and worked out very well. Associated could use their cellphones but everything they tried to access over data network would be blocked within office premises. Messages like ‘PLEASE CHAT WITH YOUR LOVED ONES OUTSIDE OF OFFICE HOURS‘ and ‘CLIENT IS NOT PAYING US FOR THIS‘ were configured in the security software. I would like to sincerely thank Airtel, Vodafone, Uninor, BSNL and other mobile network partners for their partnership in achieving what we can call first of its kind security”, said a satisfied looking Chipkoo as he went back to his manager’s office.

As per our sources, this method has increased productivity by 200% as the number of projects have doubled leading to huge turnovers at the end of the first quarter for Nitpick Technologies. However, a few cases of associates turning into working zombies have been reported as efforts are being made to make them human again.