Gurgaon to Guru Gram: What more to expect?

13, Apr 2016 By Prasad NP

Gurgaon/ New Delhi. Heeding to the violent protest, traffic jams, canal breaking, incidents of looting, riots and fast until death by countless citizen warriors, the government of Haryana has agreed to change the name of millennium city of Gurgaon to Guru Gram. A spokesperson of the government said, “Since Gurgaon is known as the Millennium City, we are going back to its original name of Guru Gram, which is about 5 Millennium old.

With the new name of Gurgaon to be Guru Gram there are few other revolutionary changes that are in the pipeline for the lucky residents of Gurgaon, oops Guru Gram:

  1. As Guru Gram is a historical name all taxes in this historical heritage town to be abolished. Now you need not pay any road tax (since there are no road anyway), no income tax (The biggest landlord of Gurgaon aka Damad G anyway never paid any). But in order to keep the city running smoothly and pay salary of government employees the government to collect only Guru Dakshina from Guru Gram residents.
  2. Since Guru Gram is a Sanskari name all things that are not in line with Bhartiya Sanskar to be closed with immediate effect. Hence fort all “Theka Sharab Desi” to be renamed as Madiralay, and all Bar Girls in Guru Gram pubs will be called Apsaras just as in Good OLD Days, which is what we remember as something called “Ache Din”.
  3. Chhole Chawal or white gram and rice to be the official food for all BPO and IT companies Cafeterias. No Pizza and Burger to be served considering we are now in a Sanskari City.
  4. Guru Gram administration has signed an MOU with Instagram to popularize the #GuruGram as twitter has refused to cooperate. The response of Instagram is awaited. But some of the popular picturess that are expected are: I clicked a #Selfie in #GuruGram and posted it on Instagram.
  5. To make the transition smooth and totally sanskari some other name changes are expected in the next few weeks. The first in line is to change the name of tony Golf Club Road to Gilli Danda Marg to promote the indigenous game of Gilli Danda that was very popular during the Mahabharata times.
  6. As prices of all major food items including Chana aka Gram have gone through roof buying any food items in Kilo will be prohibited .with immediate effect. This will prevent hoarding by wholesalers and help in redistribution of Grams of food grains to the people below poverty line.
  7. Guru Gram will be the first smart city in India with its own City song which will go like this– Goree Tera Gram Bada Pyara”.

The state government in its public announcement has requested the citizens to give other suggestions for name change.  It is learned from reliable sources that some of the other name changes in Haryana that are in pipe line are: Faridabad to Farida Good, Manesar to Muneehwar, Sohna to Swarna Pur, Karnal to Karnashram, Panipat to Pani Prastha, Sonipat to Soni Prastha. You are welcome to give your suggestions for more name changes so that we can bring some real change around you.

Mr. Gumnaam who has been at the forefront as a citizen activist to get the name changed of the city from Gurgaon to Guru Gram said, ” This is a big victory for the citizens, we hope with the name change Guru Gram will have none of the ills of Gurgaon like bad roads, traffic jams, power cuts, crime against women etc. After all everything begins with a name change”