Monday, 9th December, 2019

Romancing St. Vedantayana's Day

14, Feb 2019 By vidambanachar
       “I feel that I’ve a feeling which I feel I’ve never felt before; I’m in love.” – Sant Vedantin Wattsyayana.
      “Romance” can never become a “no man’s land”, because deletion of “man” diminishes and deforms “ro-man-ce”  into “roce” – a “‘nomance’ land” pregnant with the fragrance of “roce.” – Sant Vedantin Wattsyayana (in “Amour Kosha”).
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            Sant Vedantin Wattsyayana a.k.a. St. Vedantayana (14 Feb 14 B.C. to 14 Feb 14 A.D.) was a mysterious mystic of ancient “Scamdinavia”, noted for his philosophy of “Premaadvaita” (“Romantic Non-dualism”). He was a son of the eternally esteemed classical eroticist St. Santayana Wattsyayana and was a rival-less “romantic cardiologist”. He had a wand-like magic hand for curing multiple flavours of romantic fevers, romantic heart diseases, and curiously, “rheumatoid romantique authoritis” – a creepily crippling disorder that targets the finger-joints of prolific ‘romance authors’. Vedantayana invented erotic herobatics for newly “bewifed” boys, and gyn-nastics for girls suffering from nasty bouts of “boyological urge.” He prescribed an ingenious “sugar test” to determine the degree of sweetness of love between two heart-mates, and his essay on “es-ay” (S.A.= Sex Appeal) titled “Undiminished Sex Appeal” (USA) became a trend-bender in romantrick literature, as well as a bible for “passionistas”. Even though the original body of Vedantayana’s work is now virtually extinct, the works inspired by it are now available aplenty in English. Among these could be cited: “The Art of the Heart or Amour Kosha”; “Erratic Erotica”; “Romance Mania in Romania”; “Guy-Neck Romance, Neck Rheumatism and Necromancy”; “Room-mates’ Romantic Antics”; “Lift Your Lust into Lofty Consciousness”; and “The Wailing Tale of Valentine”. Further, Vedantayana’s groundbreaking thoughts birthed three movies: “Luv-Duv: Lub-Dub” and its sequel “Luv-Duv: Bow-Wow”, followed by two “romedies” (romantic comedies) titled “Valiant Tiny Love”, and “A Vale on Tyne”, directed by “Romancing” Raman Singh.
      Every year, Feb. 14th turns febrile thanks to the richly romantic legacy left by St. Vedantayana. In southern Scamdinavia, Feb. 14 is seductively celebrated as “Vedantayyan’s Day’.
      Have a whale of a time on Vedantayana’s Day!
                                                                        — EweRam (a.k.a. SeethaRomanoff).
* A couple of off-the-wall proposals:
  > Declare Feb 25 as “Womance (or Sismance) Day” as a tribute to the non-sexual but highly emotionally intimate relationship between two or more women. Let this ‘Eve’-nt or ‘She’vent become a rallying point for brainstorming on gender agendas. – St. Equivalentina (a.k.a. Maa Ambivalentina) of the Church of Venus, Venice Zooela.
> To hail the innate and universal culture of bribery, let every mega-corrupt country celebrate “Venal Twine Day.” – “Wallet-9 Day Votaries Worldwide”.
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