Monday, 16th July, 2018

Additional reforms in Indian Railways fare rules

29, Jan 2017 By electroman

After launching revisions in fares and rules which pinched the pockets of the common man, Indian Railways wants to sweep their pockets clean by coming up with more rules. A few of their draft rules were obtained from their servers. Below is a list of those rules which will come in to effect in a few weeks in India.

  1. People who defecate along the railway tracks will have to pay Swachh Bharath Cess. Technically there will be a cess for recess. By this way India gets to keep the Guinness record for the world’s longest toilet.
  2. Patanjali will rename these open defecation zones as Patanjali natural toilets and rent it to common people for cheap rates.
  3. All the toilets and washbasins in the trains will be converted to Pay-and-Use.
  4. Fetuses inside the wombs will be charged full tickets.
  5. Tamilians will be charged double fare.
  6. Window seat passengers will be charged extra windows upgrade fees.
  7. Poor people carrying dead bodies due to unavailability of ambulances will be charged for checked-out luggage fees.
  8. People complaining about shitty pantry food or cleanliness of trains and stations will be detrained.
  9. People committing suicide will have to pay entry fees.
  10. Mobile charging bill will be given to the passengers at their destination.
  11. People who bring their own air pillows and blankets will be penalised. The TTE will act as a stand-in Judge to sentence them.
  12. If you just think about cancelling a confirmed ticket, the ticket will be cancelled immediately with 100% of the fare going to government’s pockets.