Monday, 9th December, 2019

Case of missing jackfruits

20, Jun 2014 By Prasad NP

Ram Ram what kind of world we are living in? I thought “Ache din aa rahen hai“, and we will get some “Chain kee neend“, but it seems now to even one needs to chain fruits growing in the backyard.

As per some media reports, a few jackfruits growing in the official bunglow of Janata Dal United’s Rajya Sabha MP Mahendra Prasad’s bungalow on Tughlaq Road have been stolen.

National treasure.

A spokesperson of Samajwadi Party immediately called a press conference and said, “The Center government should look into its own backyard before telling Netaji and Son to how to look at law an order, we already have Gunda Law in UP and soon we will find order also, but what is the center government doing?”

Congress spokesperson  Manish Tiwari, in  his typical monotone  mentioned- ” These jackfruits started growing during the time of Congress led government in center. The incumbent BJP government has totally failed in not only protecting the good jackfruits of Congress but it has literally started let the plundering of national assets created by the congress government.”

The JDU spokesperson on other hand has questioned why only the Jackfruits of JDU MP were stolen, ” Dekhiye, there are jackfruit, jamun, mango, and many other fruit bearing trees in bungalows of various MPs, but only jackfruits from our bungalow were taken away. We strongly believe this is because we oppose the non secular forces in government and to keep our mouth shut this below the belt tactic is being used by the  Sanghis.”

The Delhi Police commissioner on  his part said, “We are doing all possible things to capture the culprits as soon as possible. Because jackfruits don’t last more than a few days once they are taken down from the tree so we are raiding all the restaurants that have jackfruit as as item on the menu.  We  have also called a meeting of Delhi Shaadi and Party Caterers Association and asked for all marriage functions where a request for making Jackfruit Biryani was made. We will soon crack the case and present the jackfruits back to the honorable Member of Parliament. In the mean time we have suspended two constables who were on VIP duty in the area.”

Shree Kejriwal has decided to go on a dharna on the deteriorating law and order situation in the city and has apologised to the citizens of Delhi for not continuing as the CM of Delhi.

He promised the housewives in Delhi that he will ensure that each household is given 300 gms of jackfruit on a subsidised rate for all families below poverty line. Those families needing more than 300 gms of Jackfruit, will get only first 300 gms at subsidised rate rest they will pay at the market rate.  The market rate of jackfruit will be published daily in all major newspapers in half page ads and will also be telecast on All India Radio and Doordarshan.

In the meantime on Newshour, Arnab Goswami has alleged that some foreign funded NGOs are behind the disappearance of the jackfruit. He has declared the Delhi Police to dare tell the truth as the Nation WANTS To Know where the jackfruits have gone missing. Mr. Goswami has said that this case is beyond the capabilities of Delhi Police and a CBI enquiry should be done on how come fruits growing on the national property were stolen. He  has asked following questions

  • Who owns the fruits growing in government bungalows?
  • The MPs already get a good salary so why they are asking for the fruits also?
  • The fruits and vegetables growing in the VIP bungalows are national asset and should be auctioned to highest bidder and should not be give for free to the MPs.
  • I think this fruit scam could be as  big as 2 G scam. Just imagine 60  years of Independence and more than 500 bungalows and each with just 10 fruits trees can you imagine the amount of revenue that the people of this country has lost by giving these fruits free to the MPs ?

When Rahul Baba was asked for his reaction on the case of missing jackfruits he responded,” Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. So in summary I want to say if we find Jill we will find Jack also.” The journalist who asked Rahul Baba fainted on listening to this answer.

Further adding light to the matter, Delhi Police has warned citizens of Delhi to not to touch any unattended jackfruit if they find it in city. ” It could be a terrorist planted bomb in the jackfruit. So if you see a jackfruit lying unattended please immediately call Delhi police and we will send our Bomb Squad to investigate.”

In the meantime, US President Barrack Obama has personally called Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi and said  “We understand the historical and cultural importance of jackfruits in India, and stand totally with the largest democracy in world.  PM Modi when you visit US in September we will discuss how the two nations can work together to protect jackfruits from our common adversaries.”