Pune: In a surprising turn of event, Kanpur pitch curator announced to media today that he will prepare U-turner pitch for upcoming India Vs New Zealand Test. He mentioned that Square-turner is past now and this pitch will have a capability to bowled-out non-striker and even Shikhar Dhawan can break Anil Kumble’s record on this pitch. Eden Garden and Indore pitch curator has also taken this as a challenge and vowed that their Pitch will make Test matches shorter than ODIs.
New Zealand, England and Australian camp is in shock. Though they have expected a dust-bowl but this is taking it to one level higher. Kane Williamson was angry and he reacted strongly that India should ask visitor’s to play Beach Cricket other than making them dance on such a diabolical pitches. Steve Smith and Alastair Cook have also shown their displeasure and now thinking to back-out from tour citing security concerns.
Ravichandran Ashwin was elated hearing this. He is now confident than no-one will be able to stop him from becoming fastest Indian bowler to 200 wickets. Mishraji was also thanking curator for providing opportunity in his sun-set years to improve his records. Sir Ravindra Jadeja is dreaming to snatch away “Ball of the Century”, title from Shane Warne.
Popular full-time film critic and part-time Delhi CM, Arvind Kejriwal was also extremely happy with this announcement. He demanded to inaugurate first pitch in Kanpur and also proposed a name for these pitches as “Kejriwal Carpet”. Ashutosh who holds world record for typos quickly joined the chorus and tweeted – “Gud demnds Aluwind. #KerjiwalMarpit”.
Ravi Shastri was angry hearing this news and suspecting that this is collusion of Sourav Ganguli and Anil Kumble to prove Kumble is a better coach. He has launched fresh abuse on Sudhir Naik – Wankhede Pitch Curator as well along with this. ICC is confused if non-striker’s dismissal will be counted as Mankading or will be considering bowled. ICC Technical committee has called urgent meeting to discuss this.