Sept.22, 2017 Chandigarh, Haryana: CBI investigators discovered 600 skeletons in Dera headquarters buried along the main roadside. Dera officials said, “This is just a ritual to appease Lord Yamaraja. Also the roads become strong from the bone calcium reinforcements.”
This idea was quickly welcomed by central government. Tax minister Arun Jaitley said, “All skeletons must have an Aadhaar number from now on and pay 14% GST. And the burial cess will be 12% extra”.
BJP MP Amit Shah clarified, “We need not worry, Chitragupta keeps an account of those skeletons. CBI inquiry not required”.
TN Chief Minister Edapadi brushed aside this news, “Our jailed leader Sasikala has more skeletons in her cupboard”. TTK Dinakaran angrily responded “none of those skeletons are from missing MLAs! I demand a floor test for dead bodies!”.
Meanwhile, medical experts from AIIMS, New Delhi made a huge discovery that these skeletons must have come from dead bodies and reported their findings in reputed medical journal Lancet.
Ryan international school management sulked “sigh! if only we had a roadside to bury bodies…”
Home minister Rajnath shook his head “bodies or no bodies, it will be dead wrong to give asylum to poor Rohingya muslim refugees! Their children and women might become terrorists killing cows”.
All India federation of traders surmised “those are 600 people who might have died seeing the GST rates”.
Karnataka CM guessed “these are people who died of old age waiting to cross Silk Board junction”.
Central health and welfare minister Jagat Prakash Nadda suggested “we are not getting enough cadavers for MBBS colleges. From now lets make it compulsory to donate dead bodies to colleges. Later they can be buried unceremoniously along roadside”.
A new rule from UIDAI warned “verify and link aadhaar between victims and their skeletons before murdering and burying along roadside, or else!”
A memo from Prime Minister’s office notified “we must worship dead cows. Dead cows need proper burials. Dead humans can be buried along roadside.”