Saturday, 20th July, 2019

“Republic" minus "pub"= "Relic”!

26, Jan 2019 By vidambanachar

Here are some echoes from my unsolicited and undelivered “R-Day double-talk”:

> Have you ever paused to muse on what “republic” would morph into, if bereft of “pub”? If you do, it will take no Einstein in you to figure out – much to your amusement or, more likely, your outrage – that “Republic-pub= Relic”! Oh, what a revelation to bump into, particularly while heralding a Republic Day! Nevertheless, it speaks for itself that “a republic” will just crash into “a relic”, unless the “central” importance of “pub” is appreciated, and “republiquor” is allowed a free run to irrigate and nourish the cells of a republic’s “soul-case”. – His Legal Hypeness Sir Liaquat All-liquor Qhan (a bar-at-law, with specialization in the “Law of the Bar” from Guzzlers’ Grand Inn) in his landmark “Pub Interest Litigation” before the Hon. Bar and Pub Council of the Sovereign State of Central Inebria). (Ref.: “Allow no pub to become a relic”, a spirit-dripping article in “Repub”, an ‘on the house’ pub-liquation for repeat pub-site visitors, and pub-crawlers at ‘large’, put out by Publican Pelicans Worldwide).

>  With the world turning ever-more “automatocratic” and “botocratic”, any S3DR (Sovereign Socialist Secular Democratic Republic) will, of necessity, metastasize as “So-worried Social-mediocratic Slickular Body-politic”, and excessively “digitated” masses will start falling victim to a crippling “binary-ocular syndrome,” where the whole wide world appears only in black & white, zero & one, all-good (we) & all-bad (they), and such other frigidly polarized frightful forms. Artificial Intelligence will, in short order, set in motion ‘self-aware’, ‘de-public’ Buddhadroids to steer republics. – Dr. Sidney Siddiqui Siddu, Head of the Department of Futuristic Molecular Bioterrorism and Video-vascular Diseases, University of PencilMania (in his recent book “Pluto’s Reap Publique”).

>   Canine hunger for votes will see the parties in power repeatedly amending the relevant schedules of their constitutions in order to ‘reserve’ seats for growing numbers of castes, communities, and an ample assortment of other (e.g., “dentally deprived”, “matrimonially threatened”, “sexually underprivileged”, “intellectually un-upgraded”, “emotionally deactivated”, “digitally devastated”, and “equipmentally endangered”) demographic constituencies, so much so that their lands will land up as “Scheduled Republics”, or as UNESCO-unrecognized “Bio-reserves for Conservation of Castes, Communities and Creeds.” Governments will irresistibly mutate into “Giver’nments” and “Go-over’nments” in serving, re-serving, conserving and preserving their own vote-banks without any reserve, while sneeringly observing and dis-serving the deserving denominations. – Davy Devidayal, author of the critically acclaimed, “All Scheduled for Constipational Crises”, and “Healing Republicosis” (Published by Devil All Impressions Inc., Quota Raj Reservatory, Kota, Rajasthan).

> A republic run by run-of-the-mill wheeler-dealers will, in not too long a run, lapse and collapse into a ‘rip-public con’ game, defined by ryots running riot and pursuing inorganic angry-culture; “undertakers” expertly cramming dismembered public sector “units” into “eternity boxes”; and hard-baked representathieves, paytriotic phonyticians, and demonic mock-rats fingering the nuke destruct button. – Bertram Bharatram, author of “Rip-Oblique: Mastering the Art of ‘Stealth Politics” (an OYT bestseller), and “Is the Left ‘right’ in turning about?”, and founder of “Repub Lincolns”, a crypto-revisionist Lincolnian movement.

Further references: 1) To go public or to go republic?, 2) Re-peopled Republics, 3) Narcissistic Selfie Nazism, 4) Republics or Rubber-clips?, 5) In anticipation of a “de-public ray” (All books published by “Repubclick Online”), and 6) “Rap, rip, rob public”: A chart-buster lyric composed and played by the new rock-band “RiffRaff TRaffique”.

Remember, today is not just another ‘public holiday’. It’s a “republic holiday”! Have a rip-roaring “R-Fun Day” (Republic Funday)! And, of course, don’t miss savouring 3 nonesuch flavours of “PoliTea”: LiberTea, EqualiTea, and FraterniTea!

With potfuls of platonic republican love,

26 ‘Jan (Tantra) Worry’, 2019                 c_ta_rom.

Topics:#Republic Day