Scientists from Butts and Bellies Research Institute (BABRI) have recently made a discovery that could potentially jeopardize multimillion dollar fitness industry and green tea industry alike.
According to the study the fat in burgers and the sugar in cakes and ice-creams is not harmful if certain precautionary measures are taken; viz, uploading photos of food and selfies taken in front of them on social media before eating them. The study has elicited mixed reactions from the urban populace of India.
“You know, I’m like- like so busy, like I don’t have time to exercise. I’m like so hardworking. On like two days of the week I have like shopping to do, two days I have to spend like with my boyfriend, and one one day with mah bitch friends and the last day with like mah family. Where do I have like time to exercise? Dude I live in South Bombay, you don’t understand the value of hardwork! I’m like sooooo happy b-coz of this new AWWESOME solution discovered. Now I can stay fit and enjoy my fav food at the same time!” reacted a young woman in Colaba who was booking Ola cabs standing on platform 2 of Churchgate station.
Another woman also expressed her gratitude to the discovery who said, “I’m a foodie and a wanderlust. Pizza and Coke are my fav foods and I keep travelling all the time. So obviously I’m thankful to the news,” said a Shikha Mehta from Bandra West who we met in a Pizza Hut outlet. “Dude you are so retro! Kaunse gaav se ho?” she asks adjusting her goggles when asked if she knows any traditional food from India.
But not everybody is as happy. Bobby Bodywala, the owner of a posh aerobics and zumba gym in Colaba said that scientists should verify their theories before making hasty claims. He also owns a weight loss supplement showroom.
Our correspondent spoke to the leader of the research team from BABRI, Prof. Pooja Parmar who gave some practical tips for busy girls for a healthy living:
Make sure that you upload the pics of cakes with at least ten hastags. More hashtags means faster metabolism. Also very helpful are selfies at the restaurants with goggles. Let the goggles be very big so that they obfuscate the true proportion of fat cheeks. It is better to upload a selfie everyday, since if people see you everyday, they will not detect a few extra pounds over a year. Remember, “a selfie a day keeps the running shoes away”. Also hashtags are very important. “It ain’t a post if if it don’t have hashtags.”