Delhi: In an innovative and path-breaking move the police in Delhi have decided to discontinue use of traffic lights for better regulation. The lights have been put off with immediate effect and all the poles will be removed within 15 days.
“At the intersections, those jumping the green light are the cause of most accidents, they are so insensitive to the traffic moving on red signal from the other side”, said Mitin, a motorcyclist welcoming the Delhi Police action.
“We have also taken cue from the panel discussions on our news channels. Panelists never speak on their turn, indulge in cross mud slinging and blabber randomly to make the show so engrossing, intelligent, meaningful and full of substance”, Prem Mishra Dy Commissioner of police in-charge of traffic control told Faking News.
“Randomness provides order to traffic on Delhi roads.Traffic lights are a big obstruction in this randomness”, added Mishra
With lights functioning, logjams on intersections caused by vehicles coming from all sides are a part of daily life for Delhites. Without lights, drivers and riders in Delhi whose exceptionally intelligent brains are capable of processing complex inputs will make their way through random vehicular movement by fellow drivers and make the roads faster and safer.
“Public’s road sense in Delhi is more intelligent than traffic lights. The dumb lights deoptimize the speed of traffic”, commented Siddharth owner of a Mercedes car. “Why should we wait at the crossing for the red light to turn green when there is no traffic visible on the other side”, he added.
In phase II of the traffic reforms process the police proposes to do away with all ‘No Parking’ signs respecting the excellent civic sense and intelligence of Delhi drivers,
“Having my way is my right, giving right of the way to others is weakness”, concluded Nishant Lakhotia while honking his way to overtaking another car from the left side.