Saturday, 22nd September, 2018

Delhi man's biscuit breaks off and falls in chai while dipping, demands answer from Modi

30, Oct 2015 By Chinmay Deshmukh

New Delhi. After a portion of Marle G biscuit crumbled and fell into his chai on Wednesday, a Delhi man has accused Mr. Modi of keeping silence over the issue. “If he does not have any explanation for this, he should take moral responsibility and resign.” said Mr. Suresh Gupta angrily.

Common Man's Biscuit (left) vs Modi's imported Biscuit (right), i.e., Cookie
Common Man’s Biscuit (left) vs Modi’s imported Biscuit (right), i.e., Cookie

The incident happened on Wednesday morning when Mr. Gupta was having tea and biscuits. He dunked his Marle G in tea when suddenly wet part of the biscuit broke off and fell into the tea. Unable to control his emotions, he initially shouted at his wife and children but once calmed down, it dawned on him that the PM is accountable for the episode.

“When he says make in India, why can’t he make good biscuits in India? Forget making in India, instead most of my biscuits are first shaking and are then breaking in India. He won’t realize our problems because he must be eating American biscuits or what those foreigners call ‘cookies’ now. He’s become Suit Boot Ki Sarkar.” He complained.

“Eleven media houses have visited me since the tragedy. They have created graphics of how the biscuit might have fallen into the tea and are also explaining physics behind it day and night on their channels, but so far Modi Ji has decided to completely ignore the issue and has kept mum”, he said, pointing towards his TV on which an anchor from ‘India TV’ was illustrating how aliens may have caused crumbling of the biscuit.

Frustrated with the Government’s apathy, Mr. Gupta has also threatened to return his Aadhar Card in protest if no action is taken. Although after the interview, he asked us not to write about ‘Returning the Aadhar Card’ bit.

Mr. Gupta also seemed unhappy with other policies of the Government. Offering his wisdom on governance, he said, “Swachh Bharat, Swachh Bharat, what is this Swachh Bharat? It is just a slogan. Nothing is happening on the ground”. After spitting out the juice of Gutkha from his mouth on the road, he explained how common man has become powerless in India, “Yesterday I threw a banana peel on the road, today it’s still lying there. What if I step on it and slip and break my back? Is this your Swachh Bharat? What will a common man like me do now?”

When asked if he was aware of three lists in the Seventh Schedule to the Constitution and division of matters of rule-making between states and the Centre, he looked puzzled and gave us the ‘what-are-you-even-saying’ look. “Are you implying that Modi Ji is not responsible for ensuring proper garbage disposal in Preet Vihar and Lakshmi Nagar?” He asked us, scratching his head. “Kuchh Bhi, Haan!” He then said, laughing it off.