Wednesday, 21st November, 2018

Didi’s confusion between ‘Bisibela Bath’ and ‘Blood Bath’

08, Aug 2018 By Kannan

Setting:

After working hard on pouring down various colours on her old white saree, Didi stood quiet and looked at the violent mix of all ghastly colours. The white piece of cloth looked as if was used to clean a butcher’s shop after used to clean tables in a Mishti house. “How peaceful” she wondered and congratulated herself for painting such a thing that was beyond imagination for any other, ordinary mortal. She walked to the cot that was made of bamboos and jute (to match her simple lifestyle) and rested. She switched on the old Onida Black & White television and Panasonic VCR to watch her favourite recording. A group of her followers clad in simple dhotis were counting the cash that was looted from the Sadhana scam. A blissful smile crossed her lips. The video was a stress buster for her. Within minutes of watching, she relaxes and sleeps sound.

Didi after eating
Didi after eating Bisibela Bath

Twist:

After three minutes, however the video got blurred and the B&W TV screen was full of colours. Didi thought there was something wrong with the TV and wanted to tap it on the top so it can become normal. “Don’t get up!” the voice from the TV sprang as the vertical bars of colours transformed into colourful concentric circles zooming in and out simultaneously. “This is even freshening” she said to herself. And, she remembered nothing.

The Interview:

Seeing her immobile condition, Byomkesh Bakshi pulled the curtains and revealed himself. He came straight to her and dangled a gold locket tied to a silver thread in front of her. At the centre of the bangle are two emeralds shaped in the form of leaves, fixed over a crescent. Didi was in a trance but liked it more and decided (in her subconscious) to make it TMC symbol. Her eyes were rolling along with the locket that was swinging like a pendulum. Byomkesh suddenly remembered the Minny Mouse that swung eyes like that at Micky. So, Didi liked the design of locket. He decided to leave the locket for her, after his mission.

In the voice of Amrish Puri (when he was in romantic mood), Byomkesh asked “Didi, Do you want this locket”?

Didi: Yes.

BB: What you will do with it?

Didi: I will make this TMC symbol.

BB: This can be yours, if you clarify few doubts.

Didi: Ask me. Let me warn you. After I answer your questions, if you don’t give me the locket, I will bath in your blood.

Byomkesh genuinely feared. Pulling himself together, he asked the first question.

BB: Why you were threatening the Union government about impending Civil War and Blood Bath.

Didi: Civil War or not. I like to have Blood Bath.

BB: Didi, you were very peaceful lady. How can you think of bathing in blood?

Didi: Who said about bathing in blood? I want to eat ‘Blood Bath’. It is very tasty.

Byomkesh Bakshi was shocked. Eating ‘Blood Bath’? She must have gone nuts, he thought and decided against to continue the interview. ‘You may have the locket’ he handed over the locket to her.

Revealing:

Suddenly there was a sound of slippers flipping on the granite. Someone was coming. Byomkesh hid himself behind the curtain. An old lady came with a tray and set up supper for Didi. Seeing the food in front of her, there was a sparkle in the eyes of Didi. “Yyaah, Blood Bath” she cried loudly and put the locket aside and started eating. The old lady looked at Didi with pity and left. Byomkesh slowly left the room and followed the old lady. She heard his footsteps and turned to face him.

He introduced himself as a secret doctor and asked her what she had given to Didi to eat. She gave him a weird look and said “It was Bisibela Bath”, part of Kannada cuisine. He blurted “But, she was calling it Blood Bath. Why?”

The old lady heaved a sigh and said. “This was happening ever since she returned from Bengaluru after attending swearing ceremony of Kumaraswamy. During the dinner, Bisibela Bath was served and Didi liked it very much. Before she wanted to ask its name, Pappu asked Kumaraswamy what that item was. Already angry with the way he was forced to drink poison, Kumaraswamy said “Blood Bath, a speciality of Karnataka”. And, Didi took it seriously. She liked the taste of Bisibela Bath so much, she was eating it for breakfast, lunch and supper ever since. She had not even touched fish for the last two or three months. She became pure vegetarian. And I too am now forced to eat Bisibela Bath thrice a day”. She looked sad.

“So, you mean, Didi referred to Bisibela bath, when she threatened Central Government about Blood bath?” he probed further.

“The point is her English is a bit poor”, the old lady continued. “In fact she was supporting NRC. All she meant was once uncivilised people fighting on the streets would go away, the fights on the streets would be between only civilised ones – meaning only ‘debates and arguments’ and no physical fights. And, everyone would eat the vegetarian Bisibela Bath and live happily forever”.

A sarcastic smile passed over the lips of the old lady. “Coupled with her poor English were her ferocious facial expressions. And, she communicated something that is entirely opposite of what she wanted to say”.

“OMG!” Byomkesh stunned at the explanation. “OMG, OMG” he repeated further.

The old lady slapped him as if to pull him out of shock. “There is nothing to do with God. One should have control over language and body language as well”. Byomkesh nodded in agreement.

“Would you like to have some Bisibela Bath” she invited him to have supper with her. “Yes, Mam. Sure I would like to taste the item that transformed Didi”

The Interviewer:

Detective Byomkesh Bakshi, the erstwhile famous detective of Bengal, oops… Bangla has completed an online course in ‘Hypnotic Interrogation’ from the yet to start Jio University. Access to online certificate courses ranging from ‘Ball Tampering’ to ‘Swindling Banks’ are part of a free package on a recharge of ₹500/- on any Jio SIM card.