Monday, 16th September, 2019

Freebie culture goes out of bounds in TamilNadu as parties distribute freebies even for Speaker elections

15, Jun 2016 By varunsundars

In one of the shocking reports revealed so far, it is found that freebies were distributed even in the recently concluded TamilNadu Legislative Assembly Speaker elections too! Yes you heard it right, not the Legislative election but in the election for Speaker of the Legislative Assembly. And a point to be noted here is that there were no opposition for him and he was elected unanimously. But then why did he distribute freebies? Read more for detailed ground report and exclusive interview given by Mr. Rich Paul, TN Speaker itself to our Faking News Reporter varunsundars below…

Mr. Rich Paul meeting Emma for gathering Funds inorder to distribute freebies

varunsundars: Congrats Mr. RichPaul for being elected as Legislative Speaker of TN assembly for 2nd time in a row…

RichPaul: Thanks. Everything was possible because of God’s… sorry… sorry… Emma’s grace…

varunsundars:  So how do you feel after this victory. Do you feel empowered, proud or afraid?

RichPaul: As long as Emma is in assembly, I have nothing to fear. But my only fear is when Emma performs her duty from TamilNadu’s second capital Kodanad and that’s when I will become a victim of slippers, eggs and abusive words from opposition party MLAs.

varunsundars: We heard that you have distributed freebies with Emma’s sticker pasted even to the opposition MLAs for electing you as speaker. Is it true?

RichPaul: Yes. Ofcourse. I want to make sure that nobody other than Emma opens their mouth in the Secretariat and for it I am even willing to bribe the opposition if it is the need of the hour. In support of Emma I will go to whatever extreme as I could…

varunsundars: But you have been elected unanimously as Speaker and why would you even care of giving freebies?

RichPaul: Oh yeah… Thanks for reminding. (Scratching his bald head) I did not think from this angle. But any ways giving freebies during elections has become a norm these days like buying Laddu Prasatham right after Tirupathi temple visit for our friends and well wishers!

Image of Mr.Rich Paul during the course of the interview

varunsundars:  So sir can you please elaborate about what all freebies have you promised and fulfilled for these elections (In Arnab Style) The nation wants to know sir please…

RichPaul: Well since Emma has won this election she was on cloud nine when I approached her asking to extend my Speaker candidature. So she allocated a lump sum by which I have already given FREE BRAND NEW MIKE, IMPORTED TABLES, CUSHIONED CHAIRS, APPLE MACBOOK PRO (probably not to watch porn movies as in our parliament!), JBL HEADPHONES(to listen to high pitch music when opposition starts speaking[shouting]) and even HAND GLOVES to protect our MLA’s hands while they slap hard on the benches to support Emma. I am also going to provide Metro Rail facility for each MLA right from his garden premise to the secretariat premise whose work will be completed in a couple of decades from now!

varunsundars: For the past 5 years the previous government’s plan of moving to new secretariat building was postponed and all the ruling Legislative members are strictly condemned for it. What is your take on it?

Mr. RichPaul: Well if something is not good for Emma that can never happen and that is the mantra of our party. Since a parrot (Parrot astrology) and a rat (Rat astrology) told us that Emma’s political career will go down on moving to new building we have resisted the shifting process and have converted it to a general hospital. Who knows if opposition again comes to power and constructs another Secretariat building we may even change it to a public toilet!