Thursday, 18th October, 2018

Golden Scheme of Congress to abolish Income Tax for all under 35 years

30, Jul 2018 By Kannan

Amidst rumours of ‘No Income Tax for all under 35 years’, new promise by Congress there happened a Bollywood style chase in Mumbai.

Indian equivalent of Steve Jobs, Sanjay Jha was all smiles in the studio of NDTV while declaring the new poll promise by Congress. While talking to the reporters, he confirmed that this partial abolition of income tax is indeed a poll promise and Congress is expecting to turn traditional BJP voters of Urban and semi-rural i.e., the middle class people, salaried people to vote for Congress.

Rahul Gandhi wants to propose the bill, evenif not in power
Rahul Gandhi wants to propose the bill, evenif not in power

But, can the government run without income tax being collected from individuals? Scratching his grey speckled beard, Jha laughed softly. With a twinkle in his eyes, he replied “Modi has already done groundwork for our scheme. Implementation of GST would result in increase in indirect taxes manifold. And, Congress is notorious in not spending much on public infrastructure. So, much of the loss due to abolishing IT for young Indians would not affect much”.

Sipping Patanjali Green Tea that was Red in colour, he continued, “I know your doubts. What would we do if there is a short fall? No. There will not be any deficit budget. We have another ‘golden’ scheme to fill the gap. However, he refused to answer what the golden scheme was.

The mysterious golden scheme, however came to the fore within hours. And, it was a dramatic revelation. From CST to Sealink, a posse of white police cars were chasing down a Mercedes that was being driven at a very high speed. It took a blockade of eight police vans to make the driver to stop the car.

Of course, the person running away from the police was the Vice President, South Mumbai Congress. Mohammad Jamadar, who passed VII grade and is an NRI was arrested by the ignorant Mumbai Police, who failed to understand his critical contribution to a ‘Tax-Free India’.

Though he remained tight-lipped even during third degree interrogation, it was a witty constable named Pandu Mhatre who broke the smuggler. Pandu threatened Jamadar saying “Zakir Naik ki Kasam”. Hearing these words, Jamadar broke and started revealing the truth. He informed that he was running a rocket of Gold Smuggling. Based in Dubai, he sends gold to Mumbai where it is sold to higher price. The profits are credited in Mumbai Congress treasury.

The corpus thus created is meant to fill the short fall in case of revenue deficit that Congress is envisaging, after abolishing income tax. As soon as the news of the gold smuggling racket busting reached NDTV studio, the smile on the face of Mr Jha has disappeared and a scorn developed. Scratching his beard so hard he shouted ‘This is nothing but blatant misuse of power by Modi and his cronies. He is using the Mumbai Police for his personal use only to prevent Congress from keeping our promises”.

After the intervention of the staff and two pegs of Johnny Walker, he cooled down. Sighing deeply he declared “Let Modi arrest Jamadar and confiscate the gold. This would not prevent Congress from abolishing Income Tax. If needed, we will legalise smuggling after coming to power”. He beamed into the camera like a kindergarten kid who learnt ‘e’ follows a,b,c,d in alphabets.