Friday, 22nd March, 2019

Government proposes to start reservation in musical chairs

21, Apr 2016 By desisherlock

New Delhi. After giving a lot of thought to how the government can curb any protests against reservation, they have come up with the perfect solution. “The problem has never been reservation. It’s the inability of the students to cope with the change as they enter the real world.  Therefore, we plan to prepare the students from childhood by starting reservation in musical chairs”, said a prominent party leader. Musical chairs will be a mandatory activity in all schools and will be practiced for half an hour every day with moral science lessons.

The new norms of Musical Chair game
The new norms of the game Musical Chair

“The layout of the game is well thought of and scrupulously designed by an analytical team. There would be 10 chairs with 50% reservation. The total number of students will vary from 100 – 150”, the rules were explained. Before implementing the above, the beta version of the plan was tested in a kindergarten school in Delhi.

Though the kids seemed clueless, mixed vibes came from the parents. Every kid was being pampered, bribed and motivated to run faster and get a chair. The Glucon D sale rose by 1%, owing to its instant energy. To further energize the kids, ‘Bhaag Bhaag DK Bose’ was played on repeat. The results were as follows- the fast and lucky kids were able to get an unreserved seat while two kids had to leave an acquired chair as it was reserved. Frustrated with the scene they pissed in the open trying to write ‘STOP THIS’.

The party declared the event as a huge success as there was a sudden increase in the party vote bank.”We are elated to announce that the “Balwadi Aarakshan Yojna” (Kindergarten Reservation Scheme) has been a colossal success. Most of the parents now stand with us. The kids, on the other hand, will gradually get a hang of the game”.

Meanwhile, some of the parents gathered outside the principle’s office to ask for further reservation. The party has promised to grant as many reservations as possible in musical chairs for uplifting India’s future.