Sunday, 5th April, 2020

Now you can fart in Delhi, only on odd or even day

03, May 2016 By रामु काका

New Delhi. To curb the rising air and sound pollution levels in the Delhi, CM has proposed to put ‘Farting’ in the ambit of odd even rule. As per the proposal, those who are born on odd date, would be allowed to fart on odd days and those born on even dates would be allowed to fart on even date.

Violators of the odd-even rule would be fined Rs 200. 1,000 civil defense volunteers would be roped into implement the scheme. They would be equipped with iPad (pun intended) connected air analyzers to detect the violators of Odd Even fart policy.

As always, there would be exemptions allowed from rules. People who have had, Sev and Chana chaat items would be exempted from the rule for 2 days after consumption. Moreover, those born exactly on midnight 00:00, would enjoy the privilege of farting on any day. One such lucky fellow, is Mr. Sripad. Beaming with smile he told our reporters, “Meri poori zindagi muze chidhaya jata tha, raat ko 12 baje paida huwa, sabki nind kharab karke rakh di thi, vagaira vagaira.  Lekin dekho aaj jake faayda huwa naa! Ab mein kabhibhi chain ki saans p**** le sakta hoon”.

But certain section of society is not happy. Sellers Association of Indian Namkeens [SIAN] headed by Haldikishen Bhujiyawala are protesting the proposal as they afraid of loss of revenues. They are even contemplating counter action by taking Salmaan Bhai on board to protect their cause. (Remember, Sameer, Hawa ka zonka fame?) They have found support from local Moong ke Laddu sellers from Lajpatnagar as well Chhole bhature sellers from Paharganj.

As usual, CM is adamant on implementation. He is staunch opponent of 80-20 rule and believes in concentrating on doing 80% stuff which gives 20% results. On being probed whether odd even for coughing would be next on his agenda, he smiled from behind the muffler and declined to comment.