Our PM has announced today, that Virat Kohli will be awarded the elusive IPL trophy when he returns from England. As the whole country is currently feeling down after the loss against NZ, this measure has been taken to lift the spirit of the Indian captain. As of now we only have bits and pieces of information regarding this announcement.
As the government is expert in doing weird things like allocating HRD ministry to a college dropout, we can expect such announcements from them. Internal sources say that after failing to win the IPL trophy by playing cricket, Kohli tried to win it by winning the heart of the PM. He accepted the fitness challenge. He liked and shared every post from PM’s social media accounts, similar to the Bollywood bucketwala Akshay Kumar.
Fans even pointed out the fact that Anushka being present in the stadium as a reason for the loss. She has a track record from 2015 semi-final as well. Now Kohli has all the time in the world to sit with her and explain to her the signals for boundary and six.
After the announcement, Sensex is expected to cross 40,000 mark and other jumlas are expected to happen. Meanwhile Finance minister is planning to tax each and every person in the country and scrape the bottom of their pockets to run the country. If nothing else works, they are expected to increase petrol prices again.