Monday, 16th July, 2018

PM Modi announces "Swachh Zubaan Yojana" for a swear-free India by 2019

03, Mar 2016 By Beer & Biryani

New Delhi: Prime minister Narendra Modi is all set to announce a first of its kind scheme that will keep in check the verbal abuse in Indian society. Named after tongue, “Swachch Zubaan Yojana” will be made effective from April 1 onwards.

We spoke to PMO’s media spokesperson to get more information on this scheme and here’s what he had to say.

“Modi announcing Swachh Zubaan Yojana.”

“Swachh Zubaan Yojana is basically for preventing verbal abuse in the society. In majority of households of the country, the day starts with a series of abuses due to really silly things which could, in fact, be sorted out with a cool head. Once a person starts office commute, he is scared of getting abused by outraged people. They could be angry on their wives or other family members but end up showing that on other innocent commuters. Even a slightest of friction between vehicles leads to swearing at a family tree level.”

We asked Arun Jaitley for his opinion as he was passing to say hi to Modi at the PMO. He said, “Swachh Zubaan Yojana is going to be implemented strictly across India unlike smart cities which are limited to a few locations only. The diversity of swear words has been calculated on a large scale and it is the biggest need of the hour.”

“We will soon roll-back the EPF tax and introduce Zubaan Par Lagaam (tongue control) Tax that will be levied by GoI mufftees whenever anyone is found abusing on roads. However, this doesn’t mean one can swear their neighbours. Mohalla/Colony/Taluka swearing will soon be reportable with audio or video proofs and ZPL tax will be charged accordingly”, said Jaitley as he appeared satisfied with introduction of ZPL tax.

Soft abuse will also be part of the Swachh Zubaan program. As per our sources, girly swear words like “Ullu ke patthe, Suar” etc. will be taxed though a bit leniently. Swearing pros at Facebook along with Twitterati will be under scanner too.

PM has personally chosen serial abuser Raghu Ram as a brand ambassador for creating an abuse free India and will soon be seen in GoI’s advertisements during commercial breaks.