Friday, 15th November, 2019

"Rename Anil Ambani to Mukesh Ambani to end his financial woes": Yogi Adityanath

12, Nov 2018 By Akshaykumar Sirsalewala

Yogi Adityanath, Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh and UPA government’s official naming genius has come up with the perfect solution to salvage Anil Ambani’s declining fortunes. His suggestion to rename ‘Anil Ambani’ to ‘Mukesh Ambani’ to solve all problems in one go has been termed a masterstroke.

Yogiji signing an order to rename local monkey "Apu" to "Kapu" (nothing to do with Kapil Sibbal)
Yogiji signing an order to rename local monkey “Apu” to “Kapu” (nothing to do with Kapil Sibbal)

Obviously, this news has spread like wildfire and the Indian stock market is going gaga over management guru, Yogiji. Lund School of Economics, Sweden has decided to confer a doctorate degree to our very own Vin Diesel look-alike, Yogiji for his exceptional skills. Their dean has gone on record to say “Yogiji has a lot in common with Lund”.

Yogiji has officially altered Shakespeare’s ‘Naam me kya rakha hai?’ to ‘Kaam me kya rakha hai?’. “If I can solve all problems of India just by renaming things and people, why should I work? I do not think it makes sense.” said the revolutionary Yogiji during a press conference. With every word of Yogiji, loud cheers of “Mandir yahi banayenge” were mouthed by his supporters.

Reports have also emerged of inhabitants of Chutiya (Madhya Pradesh) and Bhosari (Pune) allegedly asking Yogiji to rename their villages on priority. “Mughals renamed our villages to make fun of us. Only Yogiji can save us” said one of the villagers of Chutiya, also commonly referred to as Gandu.

Neha Dhupia, yesteryear actress and prospective mother has also approached Yogi Adityanath to name her ‘soon to be released’ baby. “Keeping in view my film choices, I felt Yogiji would do a better job at choosing a name. Also, Yogiji is an expert on that subject.”

Yogiji proudly showcased his Report Card, since joining office in March 2017 –

  1. Renamed Allahabad to Prayagraj
  2. Renamed Faizabad district to Ayodhya
  3. Renamed Ekana International Cricket Stadium to Bharat Ratna Atal Bihari Vajpayee Ekana Cricket Stadium

He also revealed his future plan – to rename TV series “Bold & Beautiful” to “Bald & Beautiful”.

Yogi Adityanath finally signed off with – “If you have any request to rename anything, please send your pleas to” .