Wednesday, 21st November, 2018

SC to release time table for Hindus

26, Oct 2018 By samy

In response to a PIL filed by a NGO, the honourable SC has made an observation that Hindus are not following the required discipline. Some Hindus wake up early while others wake up very late. Some of them do their worship, some just bow down, the atheists dont even bother

The SC felt that this was against the grain of the religion and therefore it has requested the central govt to submit a tentative timetable for Hindus

You useless, worthless and hopeless Hindus! Do as we command.
You useless, worthless and hopeless Hindus! Do as we command.

This time table will be binding on all hindus. Along with the directive the SC has actually given a format in which the timetable needs to be created

So it is expected that from now on all Hindus are expected to wake up at 6 am. Then they are expected to finish their daily chores in half an hour. An exception of 15 minutes will be made for those who are dealing with problems of constipation.

By 8.15 am all Hindus will need to finish their breakfast and then start working by 9 am. Work will go on till 6 pm with a one hour break for lunch

The SC has been considerate in allowing for flexible lunch hours

The SC feels that with this discipline the productivity will increase. Hindus constituting around 80% of the population would mean that at least 80% people will start working on time

There will be exceptions made in case of couples who have infants at home. Hindu infants are normally known to cry a lot at night and therefore disturb the neighbourhood

They are known to create noise pollution and that results in disturbance to the immediate neighbourhood.

When asked about the Azaans the SC felt that Azaans are holy call for prayer while babies crying can and should be avoided

Economically these steps are expected to buoy the GDP and add an additional % to the GDP growth rate which will henceforth be called the Hindu Additional Growth Rate

This would be the best tribute to the Hindus who will follow clockwork precision in following these rules