Monday, 9th December, 2019

The case of missing buffaloes of Azam Khan

04, Feb 2014 By Prasad NP

Recently some Buffalos from the farm of strong man of Samajwadi Party and the right hand of Akhilesh ke papa were stolen.

Angry animals.
Back to pavilion

Nothing great as buffaloes are stolen in UP every other day only they are not from the farm of Mr. Azam Khan whose home is a citadel protected by heavy security. Though the buffaloes were found by using services of top brass of police right up to Superintendent of Police, many questions have been raised by various sections of media and society about the incident. On finding of buffaloes Mr. Khan commented that it is not a big deal that buffaloes were stolen, “Why are you making news out it? Here in UP we have rapes, murders, robberies, kidnapping, riots everyday and we are not bothered, as we are busy watching dance performance by Bollywood stars.  So why make a big issue of Buffalos stolen? I have the top cops of UP looking for them and they have been found within 24 hours. “

The first to come up with reaction was BJP, their spokesman with a glass of Cow milk in his hand said, “We are sure there is a conspiracy to blame BJP behind this, as we support Go Raksha, but Go Raksha does not mean we are against Bhains Raksha. Let me assure you in BJP ruled states Buffalos are equally safe as cows. While cow is our Mata, we consider Buffaloes to be our Mausee (aunty) and as per our sanskriti we respect our Mausee as much as our mother.”

Kumar WishWash, of AAP, who is wishing now days that people will for not wash his past dirty linen in public, wrote a poem celebrating the Buffaloes of India

Yeh Bhains mere desh kee Jaan hain,

In Bhainso se mera Iman hai,

Yeh bhains choree nahi Hui,

Uske saath nainsafee Hui,

Main puchta hoon kee Bhains KO danda kyon mara? Kya Woh Dharna Kartee thee? “

He elaborated that this is sure a case where the Buffaloes were not allowed to go on a DHARNA at the home of the strongman of UP, and they walked out in protest.

“It is clear that the Buffaloes have walked out in protest and wanted to go on a DHARNA, against the corruption in UP government. They were forced to come back to the home of Azam Khan by the heavy handedness of UP police. Let me assure you, we will bring a Bhainspal bill to ensure that all Buffalos have right to walk out and sit on a DHARNA,  Mr. WishWash read from a statement, which is believed to be written by AAP  CDO ( Chief Dharna Officer), Mr. Kejriwal. His colleague the Law Minister Mr. Bharti was heard saying “ These Black animals are involved in all kind of rackets and illegal things. I will personally go and check every buffalo shed in city and ensure that none of the Buffalo is involved in any criminal activity.”

Some of the NGOs have termed Mr. Bharati’s comments as racist and demanded a public apology from him. His Boss Arvind Kejriwal has promised to go on a Dharna, unless an action is taken against the police officers who are not taking an action against the NGOs that are demanding an action against Mr. Bharti’s racism.

Congress VP Mr. Rahul Gandhi, who comes from a long line of Prime ministers of India mentioned:

“I have analyzed the situation and I strongly feel the real issue here is about the empowerment of Buffaloes of this country. My grandmother has brought the white revolution in country and my party brought the RBI act, or Right of Buffalo Act. Using this act you can find out where your buffalo has gone and who has eaten its Chara. Thanks to these measures today milk is available to everybody provided they can afford it. Modi is thinking about the cows, and he does not care about Buffaloes, we need a PM who thinks about Buffaloes, and makes sure that Buffaloes of this country are safe. We are working on “GPBSY” or Gandhi Parivar Bhains Suraksha Yojna; in this scheme every Buffalo will be given its own Bhains Card and 12 kilos of free Chara. I have called the PM and said Mr. Prime Minister the Buffaloes of this country want 12  Kilo free CHARA and not 9 Kilos, Mr. PM I request you to consider the request of the Buffaloes of this country and approve 12 Kilos of free CHARA for each buffalo.  We are also in talks with Lalu Yadav and he has agreed to support the GPBSY in parliament, and will also give some of the Chara that he has accumulated for our Buffaloes.”  Mr. Gandhi also mentioned that if Congress does not come to power in 2014 he will take the full responsibility of all buffaloes in the country.

Akhilesh ke papa and the real power behind the UP government mentioned in the press conference,” This is all the conspiracy of communal forces trying to come to power. The day I announced I will drink buffalo milk and make my chest 60 inches, a conspiracy has started to steal all the buffaloes in UP. But we will not let this happen, Mulayam Singh Yadav will get 60 inch Chest and beat the communal forces of this county, once I become the Prime Minister. ”

Not much is known about what treatment the lost and found buffaloes of Mr. Azam Khan are getting after being found. But it is believed that Mr. Khan is planning a grand procession in the streets with Akhilesh ke papa and him riding on buffaloes to show solidarity in Samajwadi Party. Last heard popular TV serial CID is working on dramatization of the case and you may see the real story on TV very soon where ACP Praduman will solve the case onscreen.