Monday, 20th August, 2018

To uphold secularism, West Bengal govt changes name of RAM in CPU to RONG

13, Jan 2017 By manithan

Ko-al-kotta: West Bengal government, the last bastion of a truly secular India, has come up with a new announcement that RAM in Computer to be changed into RONG across the state.

Talking to the press, IT ministry spokesperson of West Bengal belonging to TMC, said, “Our government has been at the forefront of driving and inculcating secular values across India. Under Modi’s rule, India has been suffering series of communal waves. To counter such Hindutva influence, we have taken measures to weed out Ram, Krishna and several other communal names from our states.”

Ram is (w)rong. And (W)Rong is only right
Ram is (w)rong. And (W)Rong is only right

The spokesperson continued,”Removing Hindu names from town names and other physical entities are already in progress. Removal of Hindus from towns and villages are also in progress. But, there is one area where there is more fascist influence of BJP, and that is Computers. BJP-RSS funded Computers are having RAM. More you have RAM, more faster your computer will be. This is an indirect attack on minorities who do not like to have RAMs in their computers and hence unable to operate it. So, they are unable to get IT jobs and hence remain poor.”

“To counter this, under the guidance of D-Eid-i, we have decided to change the name of RAM (Random Access Memory) to RONG. One who comes up with abbreviation for this will be awarded with 50,000 INR. But Venkaiah Naidu cannot participate in this. Not only that, we are changing Programming to Progrongming. Henceforth, whomsoever using term RAM within West Bengal can be jailed for a term of two years with 10000 rupees fine”, the ministry spokesperson concluded the meet.

IT companies across the state has already configured their networks to change mentions of RAM to RONG. A top computer service chain said, “We cannot take chances. D-Eid-i might even remove our company if we use RAM anywhere. However, when any issue with RAM arises in future, we have to ask ‘what’s wrong with RONG?’ And this will confuse our customers.”

Meanwhile, anticipating change, local markets and jewellers have already changed their weighing scale from gram to grong.