Saturday, 23rd February, 2019

Mallya will return to build luxury jails

19, Mar 2018 By rsachi

Our heads have exploded with constant news of the rich and famous.  Businessmen, politicians, and god men are looting and scooting.  Through every conceivable method. Now there is good news. Luxury Jails!

Unfortunately, they have to escape to foreign lands and hide in obscure places. To go beyond the reach of Indian news channels and so-called Investigators. It is well known that only a few unfortunate offenders land up in Indian jails. Then they have to resort to bribing wardens for better bed and breakfast.

All this is going to change!  If the government will accept the offer of Vijay Mallya to come back and build fabulous seven star jails. LUXURY JAILS set up as resorts with every conceivable enjoyment and entertainment. After all, every Indian thief prefers to return and loot his motherland. The thief will make the luxury jail his base!  Mallya says that his luxury jails will offer such experiences beyond the wildest pin-up calendars.

Being a brilliant businessman, Mallya has stated the following benefits of his proposed Luxury Jails: 1. All offenders will welcome arrest and incarceration. 2. The ineffectual enforcement agencies will save money and focus entirely on traffic offences and pickpockets. 3. India will at last offer a better alternative to Las Vegas. Mallya says that every Swiss Bank account holder and economic offender will gladly deposit a portion of his ill-gotten wealth to buy shares in his luxury jails venture which will be called Indian Kings-of-Thieves Luxury Jails.

The government is seriously considering the proposal. A famous Baba has offered to match and better Mallya’s proposals. The Reserve Bank of India is proposing a new bill under the Star Offenders Act to encourage such ventures with direct loot investment. This is supposed to boost India’s Business Attractiveness Index dramatically. As it is, India scores high on the Ease of doing Illegal Business.