Sunday, 19th August, 2018

New deemed university Parasitis opens in Pune, will just suck money without giving any benefit to students

04, Apr 2018 By electroman

A New deemed University has opened in Pune this month. It is named as Parasitis. This university specializes in putting up great looking websites and colourful brochures and luring in students. Once students enter the campus, it starts sucking all their money. The fees they collect for a MBA course is equivalent to the budget of Mangalyaan-2.

Team of Experienced founders
Team of Experienced founders

After throwing all their money in to the bottomless pit, the students will just end up with a blazer and a mouth full of jargon. The value for money they invest in the course is zero. Which brings us to the name of the university. Since it exists in a parasitic relationship with the students, it is fondly called as Parasitis.

Also Parasitis sucks out all the brain matter from the head and replaces it with worthless shit, which will help the students attain high positions in MNCs. But without basic level brain functionality, the students survive by sucking on the prey available in plentiful in the campuses. Also the university removes the moral compass of the students permanently, so they can ask their prey to work long hours and weekends.

Parasitis also requested sheepherders for the position of lecturers. It is gaining popularity, since it makes a great place for students to hangout and kill time for two years blowing away their dad’s money.