Brazil hires Manish Tewari to handle fan and media outrage after humiliating defeat from Germany

09, Jul 2014 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

Brazil: Wary of huge backlash from fans and media immediately after getting humiliated in FIFA World Cup Semifinal, Brazil team management started looking for people who can project this 7-1 defeat as a brave effort and calm the tempers of fans.

It did not took them long to realize that Manish Tewari, a spokesperson of Congress from UPA-II regime is the right man for the job.


Tewari got cracking immediately and in his first interaction with media he said, “Losses and Defeats are prerogative of any contest and there is no need to read much into the result. However I must congratulate our Coach who led us brilliantly despite Germans doing all type of propaganda’s against us during throughout the WC.”

When media persons started asking for Captain David Luiz’s resignation, Tewari who has dodged handled such questions in past knew exactly how to handle the situation. He said that it was a team effort and defeat cannot be attributed to the one person alone. However we acknowledge that our defense was weak and Goalkeeper has been sacked.

Sources tell that Brazil team management consisting of Coach and Captain has formed a fact finding committee to decide if Coach and captain are responsible for the defeat. The fact finding Committee consists of Coach Scolari and Captain David Luiz. They are expected to offer resignation after submitting the report. Manish Tewari has already told the team management not to accept the resignations till the time people forget this defeat.

Tewari further mocked Germans by saying, “By shooting 7 goals in semis they have raised the hopes of their fans so much that world is now expecting nothing less than 10 goals in finals. It will be interesting to see how they cope up with self-created pressure.”

He also denied the charges that Brazil was completely outplayed. “If you see the statistics, they had possession of the ball for only 53% of the time. So it is not right to say that we were beaten comprehensively. And if you subtract injury time and other things like arguing with referee, they were in controlled possession of the ball for hardly 35% of the time. This means for 65% of time they had no control on the game. They were first past the goal post 6 more times than we did that’s the only difference. Also if you see that they did 13 fouls as well. That makes clear their love for tainted players in playing 11. Hence they have no respect for the game,” Tewari reasoned.

When Shaitaan Khopdi™ asked him what the way forward is now, he said, “Remember what happened when German became powerful last time, it was holocaust. So for greater good of game and fans Brazil will support any team which can defeat Germans.”