Sunday, 16th December, 2018

Profits from Dragonfly – communist version of Google in China will be used to promote ‘Human Rights’

03, Aug 2018 By Kannan

Amidst uproar in the ranks of its own employees, the tech giant Google released a statement that half of its profits earned from ‘dragonfly’ would be spent on charitable causes. Dragonfly is the name of search engine built by Google exclusively for China. This new search engine was tailor made to the specifications dictated by the ‘Techno-Proletariat’ the subcommittee that oversees online censorship.

In a special presentation that would be shared to employees, Sundar Pichai, CEO of Google was seen explaining the reasons behind why Google chose to work with China. The text was released to media verbatim.

The Statement

“Yes! We went back. We went back on our decision. On the decision of not subjecting our beloved ‘Google’ to the obstinate censorship laws of Mandarin. But, there is another angle to it. From another perception, one can say, we have saved Google from even being used by the Chinese. True, Dragonfly is also our search engine – a product of Alphabet. But, it is not Google. For Google can never be subjected to censorship laws”, Pichai was seen emotionally speaking and vehemently supporting the decision of working with China.

“Well, being a self-proclaimed Communist state, China practices Capitalism more openly. On the other hand, America, the symbol of Capitalistic society is riddled with socialist policies where everyone depends on the government for social security. If we use migrants and blacks for target practice, for lack of diversified resources, China had to use their own people – and this specific act is seen by us as an inhuman activity” he reasoned out.

“For seven years… Seven long years, we have not worked with China. What purpose it did serve? Nothing. We lost seven years of revenue. And, fed up with our adamant attitude, China decided simply to make a Chinese version of Google. All that we could do was to cry a lot about copy right violations, had they made a Chinese search engine. We can certainly file suits and enter litigations and continuous arbitrations. But in the end, only Google would be the loser”.

“It was hence decided to give the Chinese what they want. After all, the Chinese government represents the authority of Sovereign Republic of China. And, the technical work that had gone into making ‘dragonfly’ was simply propping up few firewalls to filter out the content prohibited within the Great Wall. We know how annoyed our employees will be. So, we would like to use half of the income generated by the dragonfly on supporting human rights in United States, Israel and India. One may well ask why spend in countries that are free. Alphabet is a forward looking organisation and would like the free countries remain free. Moreover, this charity spend can be leveraged to improve our influence in these countries to increase our presence. After all, it is easier to influence free and capitalist societies.”

Footnotes

When one reporter asked Pichai that his statement raises many questions rather than answering questions asked, he laughed like a magician and said “I know that you don’t know even what to ask because you don’t even know that I know of any answers”. He patted the bewildered reporter and said soothingly “Don’t worry. Chinese government wanted to invite few journalists from America to witness and report on the performance of ‘dragonfly’. I suggest you to visit the Forbidden City and experience the dragon err… dragonfly. On your return, I will be more than happy to answer all your questions”. He sounded so confident, the reporter feared for his life and refused the offer then and there itself.

Dedicated to all employees of Google including Sundar Pichai