Wednesday, 16th January, 2019

A conversation that never happened

24, Aug 2017 By pknayak

Immediately after Chinese media posted the satirical video mocking India’s stand over Doklam standoff, Chinese President Mr. Xi Jinping has called Narendra Modi, the Indian Prime Minister. Intention was crystal clear; looking for more gratification by abusing India. However investigative journalist of faking news managed to record the entire conversation. Entire episode is documented below for public viewing.

“The day was still young & Shri Narendra Modi had just arrived in his South Block office. Before he could have sketched the day’s agenda, sensed the phone in hotline number ringing.”

Modi: Hello

Xi: (With a sarcastic smile). Hey, Mr. Modi. This is Xi Jinping from Beijing this side.

Modi: (Reverential but solemn) Yeah Mr Xi. What’s up? Hope all is well with you.

Xi: We all ok. Utter out yours.

"Warning you!", PM Modi
“Warning you!”, PM Modi

Modi: Feeling calm & gratified. For last couple of decades we were carrying a despondency of giving you people more space for trade than what we used to get from you (a pause).

Now with super success of “Dangal” and huge anticipation for “Bahubali-2”, we are upbeat to trounce backlog.

Xi: It’s ok (With a voice dominated with strong elation over it). Then I’m talking of what’s trending on social media. Have you seen that?

Modi: (With a smiley). Exhilarated; India Today group has been critical of me in recent past. Despite that I was over the moon when I had seen their cover with your country map. It was hilarious (laughed aloud).

Xi: (With a feeling of despair) But then I’m talking of the latest video. You can see our anchor insinuating your stand on Doklam.

Modi: (Again a smiley that was more of sarcastic and pretending to be ignorant) Oh; that one; Sushma ji forwarded it on my Whatsapp. Actually she is very active on social media, you know. I had also gone through it, few of our law makers as well.

Xi: (Now more of ascendancy over speech) Then Howz that.

Modi: (Continued to be ignorant) OK. But kiran ji said: “Acuteness was missing. She further suggested a more penetrated acting course will be required if that lady wish to be a full time actor”.

Xi: (In a hostile and louder voice) Now who the hell this Kiran ji is?

Modi: (Smiling) she is one of our Parliamentarian. But her prominent identity is of being a Judge in India’s most viewed reality show. She told; “such acting will be afflicted with outright rejection.”

Xi: (Now horrified with anger and anguish) didn’t u understand what I’m trying to tell; we had insulted you with that video. We planted fake story and now tell the entire world that you are in wrong side.

Modi: (with a tranquil voice) Dear Xi, cool off first. (When realized that situation is normalized) Now listen, you must have heard a word called “Democracy” from oxford dictionary.

Xi: (Aghasted) we don’t understand much of English. Even then, what the hell democracy means?

Modi: (Sensing victorious) it is a social reformation process. It’s how we elect government and govern the country with equal rights for all. It also allows space for those not aligned to our ideology to be critic to us.

Xi: Then what?

Modi: You had lambasted us & we had approved it democratically. Now all of your propaganda is a non-issue for us.

This was enough for Xi Jinping to lose sentiment & get hyper. Flogged the phone over dialer and disconnected the line.

Bottom line is India is a democratic country which gives space to all type of ideology. It never feels offended if someone mocks by planting fake story. Idea of India is not that weak that it will get trembled by such infantile provocation.