‘Efforts on to find out the reason behind radicalisation of Vans and Trucks’ – British Anti-Terrorism Unit

08, Jun 2017 By manithan

London: Series of attacks by Vans and Trucks have damaged the psyche of the Europeans and ex-Europeans aka British. To combat this growing menace, British Anti-Terrorism Unit have now embarked on efforts to find out reason behind Vehicular terrorism.

Speaking exclusively to Faking News, a British ATU official, on conditions of anonymity, said “Europe and England had been witnessing a barrage of attacks from Vans and Trucks. This is what we are calling as Vehicular Terrorism. We have been trying out ways to find out the reason behind radicalisation of Vans and Trucks.”

Terrorist Truck
Recently arrested Terrorist Truck

“We spoke with some elders of the Vans and Trucks communities.” said the official. “They were positive in engaging with the young diesels. We advised them to pacify the younger ones and tell them of the excellent service that they can do to these nations by delivering goods and people and not running upon goods and people.”

Acknowledging the efforts made by British Anti-Terrorism Unit, British PM Teresa May had said in a press meet, “We have been in touch with the responsible Vans and few senior Trucks. We have been addressing their concerns. We also request other vehicles like cars and buses to act more civilized and not involve in cornering or alienating our brothers Vans and sister Trucks. We will soon find less attacks from these Vans and Trucks.”

Brushing away all the recent Vehicular Terrorism, a member belonging to ‘Vans Against Attacks’ said, “These are all false flag attacks carried out by the jeep community. They do these attacks for global dominance. If you see, everybody loves jeeps and very few want to be with Vans and Trucks. We are loaded with goods while jeeps are loaded with people. There is even a 1921 document titles ‘Elders of the Ford’, which talks about steps to dominate the world by involving in false flag attacks disguised as Vans and Trucks and passing the blame on to us poor vehicles.”

Meanwhile, world leaders have urged people to separate Vans from Vandalism and said that ‘Being a Vehicle has got nothing to do with terrorism’.

Liberal cars and jeeps have framed plans to trend #illTowWithYou to tow innocent Vans and Trucks, whenever a radical Van or Trucks is involved in Vehicular Terrorism.