Saturday, 17th November, 2018

Holding a shovel in hand, Angela Merkel calls for Germans to dig their own graves at their backyard

14, Sep 2015 By manithan

Berlin: Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, has requested all citizens of Germany to seize shovels from their tool rooms and to start digging their own graves at their backyards.

Speaking at an event, Angela Merkel, said, “Dear fellow Germans, we have had a bad reputation worldwide for the Holocaust. We should wash those sins away. So many Jews left our country long ago and became a Guest somewhere else. Today, our continent has got a new guest crisis. And we have to accommodate them. But how?”

Merkel raised her shovel and said, ‘Gandhi said Do or Die. But, for you, I have only three words, Do and Die'
Merkel raised her shovel and said, ‘Gandhi said Do or Die. But, for you, I have only three words, Do and Die’

Merkel paused and there was silence in the audience. She continued, “We have the answer. And that answer is you. Germans who are seated in this event, Germans who are watching this at their homes via TV and Germans all over Germany. You are all going to help us accommodate the guests. But, there is one more big problem here. There might be racist attacks by you guys on those guests. They might claim their law to be installed here and you might not well adjust to their sane demands. This will become a great headache to our administration and to the whole of Germany, as we have to arrest you guys for being racist”.

Witnessing the fervent anticipation from the audience, she raised a shovel and spoke, holding it, “I call upon each and every German residing in this country to take a shovel in hand. No matter, if it is in your tool room, or in your basement, or in your hand now, you are going to take that shovel and start digging in your backyard. Dig what? Your grave. Yes! Start digging your own grave in your backyard and make sure you are done before guests reach your homes. If you do not have a backyard, do it inside your home, but do not come back as ghost and disturb the guests when they are accommodated in your homes, after you are gone”.

This evoked mixed reactions within Germany, with the racist, Nazist groups like Pegida and few others denying their ‘duty to die’ for accommodating the guests. Liberals and Intellectuals of Germany chided the reaction from racists and invited them to get buried in additional graves that they will be digging.

As of now, some fifteen thousand Germans have successfully left their home and this world by burying themselves in graves at their backyard. One such epitaph read, “Say to the world that I gave up myself and my home for people who fled their home for a war (that has got nothing to do with religion)”.