While the global media was frantically searching for the whereabouts of Edward Snowden, the former technician at the CIA and NSA, now charged under the Espionage act for leaking the details of mass US surveillance programmes to the media, in the last couple of days, our reporter has miraculously chanced upon a leaked intelligence report that details his stay at the Congress scion, Rahul Gandhi’s secret hideout.
The secrecy of his abode is well known as the entire nation of a billion plus people had earlier miserably failed to locate Rahul Gandhi’s whereabouts at the time of mass destruction in the Himalayan region.
Our reporter got in touch with Mr Julian Assange, the editor-in-chief of Wikileaks, himself currently sheltered in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, and believed to be the mastermind behind Snowden’s escape, who has himself confirmed the latest development, in order to get further inputs on the latest find.
Our sources have learnt that Snowden has spent a quality time at this safe haven with Mr Gandhi, learning from him the intricacies of board games – Ludo and Snakes & Ladders, of which he is said to be an expert. Mr Snowden is said to have briefly gotten excited at the prospect of roping in Mr Gandhi and the ruling government in their quest for freedom of speech and anti-secrecy, but his happiness was short lived.
“Yes, Snowden discussed about cables and exposures with him, and the exciting prospect of an Indileaks, hearing which he had apparently pointed towards his Cable TV beaming the fashion channel FTV showing a lingerie show, hinting at his expertness with the issue; it was then that we had realised that the whole process will be a tedious one”, Mr Assange explained his predicament.
However, Mr Digvijaya Singh, Congress Gen. Secretary, was upbeat about the prospects of a healthy partnership between Snowden and Mr Gandhi in the future. “Both of them are very young, and they can do wonders for the world at large. Rahul baba has been so diligently studying this new concept that in his excitement he even took a leak in his bed leaked cable to his bed in order to study it better”, Mr Singh elaborated on the latest development, and clarified his statement later.
On being pressed further on the issue of MEA denying Mr Assange’s request for a political asylum, and later lying about it to the entire nation, Mr Singh clarified: “Yes, that was done in order to protect Mrs Gandhi’s interests safeguard the capital’s women against his past acts”.
Meanwhile, a serious security breach reported outside the Parliament House later turned out to be just another one of Rahul Gandhi’s adventures. He was sighted blowing on his toy whistle in an apparent attempt to master the whistle-blowing skills that he has learnt from his guest, before he was to showcase them in the monsoon session of the Parliament.